Hyrule is a land of peace once again

I was going to write a long explorative blog about how, after 7 years, I finally beat Zelda Orcarina of Time. I planned on using this game is as the illustration of how video games can be such an enthralling experience (first time I played this game, my friend Mark and I played for 8-10 hours without food or water without realizing it), how this game in particular marked different points of my life (played in college in various states of (un)sobriety, tried to beat it again in that brief period between college and being married when I lived alone and had nothing to do, and now playing it again as a emerging adult) , and how all of this was eerie in that it took me 7 years to beat it, and that's exactly the amount of time the main character needs to warp into the future in order to win. But, in the end, its just a video game.

I finally slew Gannon, Zelda is free from captivity, and Hyrule is safe from tyranny, and now I can close that chapter of my life and sleep better at night.

Current Events

Hey! I'm going to post my thoughts on current events. How bloggingly mundane of me.

I'm going to ruffle some feathers of a person close to me by saying this, but here goes. Part of me hopes for American loses in the Olympics. Well, not the Curling Team, (SHOUT OUT to my MN bruthas and sistas! Represent in Torino!) but for everyone else, I have this tinge of hope for the Americans to miss a step or falter on their way to the podium.

I think the "why" behind that tinge is pretty easy to explain. I'll cite two examples.

Apollo Ohno: the guy who won gold in Salt Lake after the South Korean was DQ'ed. Last time I heard, South Koreans were still mad about this. Like really mad. American's? Not so worked up. I would say its fair to say 1/100 even remember it. And that's a pretty generous statistic.

The American Sprinters with the posing and strutting in 2004. After that, the US was accused of arrogance and egocentrism. (which may be the case, but whatever) Essentially the Sprinters, and therefore the US as a whole were against the spirit of the games.

My point here is that when the US wins, it just becomes another example of the US's attempt for world dominance, the gold makes a headline for the day, then the US starts placing bets on March Madness. I haven't been in other countries during the Olympics, but from things like the Ohno incident, I have to think that its a big deal for a gold medal in some of these countries.

Let's face it, the Olympics aren't what they used to be here. And I'm certainly not the first to point this out. The ratings are still high, but they are slipping, especially this year compared to SLC. I have very distinct memories of the 1984 Olympics. It was a HUGE deal. So much that at my school, every class took a country and learned about that specific country for a month, and all of this culminated with a Opening Ceremonies parade through the school. Your class was supposed to have taken what they've learned over the last month and implemented it into a parade friendly format for the rest of the school to see. The most creative class won a pizza party or something.

My class had China. I remember little about what I learned, but I do remember the parade distinctly. My class put on Chinese peasant hats and walked through the school with our hands in our sleeves. Yes, sadly, I'm serious. That's what we learned after a month of study. The Chinese wore funny hats. God bless the multi-cultural Midwest. I wouldn't be surprised if we wore glasses and buck teeth and said "Ahh Soo" alot. Come to think of it, maybe that would have got us the pizza party, which we lost to the class that had Brazil and bribed the judges with coffee.

I digress. The point being that back then, the Olympics meant something. The prevailing opinion on the decline in interest is due to the mass expansion of channels and activities available to Americans now, the lack of a rival with the fall of USSR, and the loss of innocence due to the addition of professional athletes to the games. Stories like the 1980 Hockey team are the thing of the past.

In my opinion, if the Olympics aren't such a big deal anymore, let's change our philosophy. The world pretty much hates us right now. I'll leave the validity of this notion for another time. But that being the case, let's use the Olympics to let other countries beat up on us for 2 weeks every 2 years. Like punching a pillow in a therapy session. I'm not saying we throw the games, just saying we pull the pros out, and send nothing but amateurs over. No sponsorships, no nothing. Or maybe just enough sposorships to live comfortably. But no big money Nike "Dan vs. Dave" stuff.

I'm not sure how much goodwill leeway this Olympic punching bag approach will grant us in the world public opinion forum, but how we look with Bush, Iraq, torture, etc. It couldn't hurt.

Practicality

So a friend of mine just got a new car:
















My initial reaction was "Man, that's going to be alot to upkeep."

Shame. Have I gone that far? So focused on the rational vs. the romantic that my first thought is cost and ease of maintenance? I mean, look at that car. Its the kind of car that people save up their whole life to buy so they can drive it in the "Popcorn Days" parade with the Mayor waving from the passenger seat. Hard to look/feel anything but super awesome driving that.

In my defense, there is a house purchase on my horizon, which looms like a cold front approaching on the plains. It’s definitely shifted my mindset to a "be prepared", so that I will be ready for the 200K-debt storm that will hit.

That being said, my reaction to this has jarred me a little out of my slumber. I think I need a shot of frivolity/spontaneity in my life. You can't take it with you, no one ever said they wished they would have spent more time in the office on their deathbed, etc, etc. All those McPhilosophies and such.

And yes. I do see the irony of planning to be spontaneous. Thanks.

Ode to the Burrito

Can we as a society get together and finally publicly acknowledge that the Burrito is the culmination of 2000 years of evolution? That it is our generation's contribution to the ever-increasing peak of what humankind is capable of?

You ask, what do we look for in a food, and I answer that the Burrito has them all in spades.

Portable? Yes. A professionally wrapped Burrito has a tortilla can withstand the wear and tear of our fast paced life to keep the party inside until you are ready to join in. The genius of the design is that it needs no other protection. The tortilla is the membrane, keeping everything in place while not allowing outside forces to act upon the treasure inside, but the tortilla is also an essential ingredient to the goodness to the overall product. I’m awed but the beauty of simplicity and genius of that.

Adaptable? Oh yes. Vegetarian? No problem. Like Spicy? Got that. How about bland? Can do that to. There are thousands of combinations of the main 10ish ingredients, as well as sauces, serving style (grilled anyone?), size, etc. It’s a tapestry for the artist (you) to paint all over and make your own creation.

Goodness? Well, this one I suppose has some subjectivity. If you don't like the perfect melding of the warm meat and beans meeting the cooling force of the cheese, sour cream, and guacamole, then I can't do anything about it. Except declare you an alien from the planet "no idea what tastes good" and report you to our government so they can bring you in to do tests and find out what technologies allowed you travel here.

Presentation? When you get a burrito in a restaurant, the chefs usually align the burrito in the middle of the plate, shower it with melted cheese and set up various things around the Burrito like rice, lettuce, or beans to worship the perfection on earth that they have the honor of being in the presence of. I think other foods worshiping you is gets you high marks on presentation.

Am I missing any important food judging categories? If so who cares, I've made my point. And how awesome is it that the Burrito is an American invention? Take other cultures, rape them of any historical and spiritual meaning, rip them down to what’s good, and build it back into something greater. God bless you, USA.

Grey's Vagina

Grey's Anatomy was good last night.

There, I said it.

Normally, I tend to be overly elitist in my pop culture preferences. But with this show, my resistance to watching it isn't because of any assumption that its crappy TV. Its because I can guarantee how the pitch for the show went to the ABC execs in Hollywood:

"Ok, Ok, you ready for this? Ally McBeal meets ER! GOLD! Why has no one thought of this before? I don't know! But we can go ahead and start printing our own money, because we're rich!! Rich, rich, I tell ye!"


Ok, maybe not the printing the money part, but I will put mass amounts of money down against anyone who disputes a claim that "Ally meets ER" wasn't the main focus of the pitch.

In a world of sequels and Hollywood running out of ideas, I couldn't support any show that repackages a previous success in a shiny new wrapper and expects us to gobble it down.

So admitting last night's show was good...very difficult. But there you have it.