At some point along the line, I became a business traveler. Not sure when it happened, but suddenly I’m part of that herd you see stampede through the airport. You can see us by our usual uniform of polo or sport coats. We’ll have both a carry on bag and a briefcase. And we’ll usually be on a cell.
We live by a code, you see. For example, if you aren’t on a redeye, don’t ever put your seat back on a plane. We’ve flown enough to know how uncomfortable it makes the trip for the person behind you. Never check your bag. It wastes valuable time upon arrival and reduces you ability to fly stand by. Sure, your bag barely fits up top and takes a whole bin, but hey, you got important things to do, you can’t risk losing your luggage. You get the point. We business travelers, we’re kind of a big deal.
Last week, when the woman in front of me on the plane started taking pictures of the tiny houses out her window as we took off, I scoffed at her. I’m sure all her friends back home will be psyched to see what the world looks like from a plane. When she slid her seat back into my knees, I shouted in my head, “The code!” I cursed my luck to be behind such a rookie, but flipped open my DS to pass the flight as best I could. I also felt a small tinge from my bladder telling me that at some point, it would like to be emptied.
And dear reader, with that last statement, you see the storm clouds on the horizon. The part in the story where you get a hint that arrogance will get its comeuppance.
I was starting to get a little uncomfortable holding it when, the Captain announced “We are cleared for landing. Please take your seats.” I thought to myself, “Should I get up and go? Naw, I’m by the window and I don’t want to make these people get up. I can hold it.”
When the wheels of the plane touched the runway, I had a thought that I’ll never forget: “I may not make it.” Panic just rolled over me. Instinct instantly took over as we were rolling to a safe speed on the runway. Before I realized I was doing it, I heard myself say to the flight attendant “Excuse me, can I get up and use the bathroom, I can’t wait” The attendant surveyed my panic and gave me the nod. The passengers to my left knew what was happening and were already unbuckling their seatbelts to let me out.
As I stood in the bathroom swaying around as the plane turned left and right on it’s way to the terminal, I considered just staying there. Hiding in my lesson learned corner. But I came out and faced the music, sheepishly smiling at the mocking faces of the other passengers. I would have even taken a picture with the camera lady so she could show all of her friends back home the rookie traveler who couldn’t monitor his basic needs properly.
